The Hills I Have Climbed

I was shocked by a Chronic Myeloid Leukemia diagnosis after having routine bloodwork in June 2022. After a year and a half of treatment, my doctor shared that I still had not reached full molecular remission. My oncologist went on to tell me that I also needed to lose more weight. As I sobbed outside the doctor’s office after that appointment, this all felt like such a giant uphill battle.

A few days later, I saw that my writing teacher was leading a hike on the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Traveling to Europe had been at the top of my bucket list for years and was especially compelling after my leukemia diagnosis. Did I have what it would take to do this kind of hike? I mulled my questions over for three days before finally registering. The gauntlet was now set. I would be a pilgrim on the Camino de Santiago. I flew to Spain to begin my journey in August 2024.

On our last day we made our last stop at the Mountain of Joy, where we placed a stone that symbolized releasing a burden we had carried with us on our journey. I carried that stone for all the times I have been scared on this CML journey. As I laid my stone on the Mountain of Joy, I was finally able to release the many burdens I had carried with me to Spain. Was the journey complete, or had it just begun?

Since I have been home, I discovered that pilgrimage can take any form on any day. I don’t need to travel to be on a pilgrimage. These lessons and experiences from Spain are now a part of me, and I am grateful for them, even the hills that I somehow thought I could never climb. It turns out I can climb them one, slow, thoughtful step at a time. I just need to keep on walking.

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